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Mon, 09 Jul 2012 23:27:47 -0400

You make me feel so goddamn lucky, why the fuck did I do that.

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 23:17:35 -0400

You make me feel so goddamn lucky, why the fuck did I do that.

perfectioinspiritu: Encircling gunshot wounds to the...

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 23:22:46 -0400

perfectioinspiritu:

Encircling gunshot wounds to the brain.

Looks like an argonian, in a weird way.

what does victor-hagar mean? also do you make $ with your blog using peepspayerDOTcom?

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 23:11:56 -0400

Victor_Hagar is my pen name, or whatever that fancy word is, I think it’s psuedo something…. pseudonym? Yeah that’s it. And no I don’t, I don’t make money, however, that sounds cool, ha ha. Jaja. Ah well.

Everything is permitted.

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:00:35 -0400

Everything is permitted.

newsflick: Wink-Wink: An owl tilts its head and gives a...

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 21:11:09 -0400

newsflick:

Wink-Wink: An owl tilts its head and gives a birdwatcher a cheeky wink in a forest on U-am-san Mountain in Cheongju City, South Korea

Picture: Jungwoo Noh / Barcroft Media

psychedelic-fuck: I WANT TO PLAY THIS WTH

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 20:47:54 -0400

psychedelic-fuck:

I WANT TO PLAY THIS WTH

HOLY JESUS MY LONG HAIR NOSTALGIA

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 19:23:52 -0400

HOLY JESUS MY LONG HAIR NOSTALGIA

the-minecraft-funnys: Wrong game damn it!

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 14:01:31 -0400

the-minecraft-funnys:

Wrong game damn it!

Photo

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 13:56:17 -0400

mrsdentonorahippo: Your gas smells as fresh as a daisy.

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 13:47:37 -0400

mrsdentonorahippo:

Your gas smells as fresh as a daisy.

I vaguely remember exploding the fuck out of this after a few...

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 13:41:27 -0400

I vaguely remember exploding the fuck out of this after a few hits.

mauchocolate: OH SHI-

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 01:27:50 -0400

mauchocolate:

OH SHI-

Photo

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 01:18:14 -0400

awildsnorlaxx: I’m the setting sun behind the trees, the...

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 14:39:48 -0400

awildsnorlaxx:

I’m the setting sun behind the trees, the saddest one you’ve seen.
I’ve been burning holes and breaking dreams, and I regret it.
I’m fixing things I’ve broken, it’s not as easy as it used to be.
I’m throwing temper tantrums. I used to settle, but now I make a scene.

You can’t believe…

I said I’d never walk away, but I’m not able to stay.
I said I’d never leave this place, but I can’t stay here.
To watch you fade and watch you change into someone I can’t face.
I can’t replace, I can’t replace you.

You’re the swirling wind above the sea, the maddest storm they’ve seen.
Now you’re breaking waves and smashing dreams, and you can’t help it.
You’re drowning streets and stranding a million people, you’re starting out with me.
You’re crashing down from anger, your stuff is settled and now you’re sound asleep.

And so serene…

I said I’d never walk away, but I’m not able to stay.
I said I’d never leave this place, but I can’t stay here.
To watch you fade and watch you change into someone I can’t face.
I can’t replace, I can’t replace you.

And when the sun is down and when the skies are calm you’ll see, calm will be.
We’ll wait for the cycle, we’ll repeat our same mistakes. Same mistakes we’ve always made.

I said I’d never walk away, but I’m not able to stay.
I said I’d never leave this place, but I can’t stay here.
To watch you fade and watch you change into someone I can’t face.
I can’t replace, I can’t replace you.

I said I’d never walk away, but I’m not able to stay.
I said I’d never leave this place, but I can’t stay here.
To watch you fade and watch you change into someone I can’t face.
I can’t replace, I can’t replace you.

I said I’d never walk away…

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 14:36:59 -0400

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 10:35:33 -0400

itsreigningvengeance: it’s fitting today. for me.

Thu, 31 May 2012 16:23:22 -0400

itsreigningvengeance:

it’s fitting today. for me.

"Plans of what our futures hold, foolish lies of growing old. It seems we’re so invincible, the truth..."

Thu, 31 May 2012 16:22:19 -0400

“Plans of what our futures hold, foolish lies of growing old. It seems we’re so invincible, the truth is so cold.”

- Avenged Sevenfold. (via placeandtimealwaysonmymind)

Shit's been dragging on my mind.

Wed, 30 May 2012 23:00:53 -0400

I’ve got work to do, and I probably won’t be on tonight. But I want to get some things off my chest, because they’ve been pulling me down and I can’t work.

The first thing is one of my ‘friends’ at school. No, that isn’t a pretentious tone, I just want to signify that one of my friends is not really being friendly. If I wanted that tone, I’d be like, friends. but I’m not.

Well, let’s say her name is A. No, Q. I like Q better. I’ve known her for over a year, but I wasn’t really her friend until this school year. Because last school year was a dark time. A productive one, but a dark one indeed. Lately Q hasn’t been speaking to me, for a reason I’m aware of: the fact that I told someone I knew for less time that I liked a girl. But this isn’t just it. What I explained to her angered her, to some extent. Actually a lot, since she isn’t speaking.

I’m going to make a couple of arguments against this. So yeah. First of all, the amount of time I know a person has nothing to with my feelings toward them. I’m somewhat social with charismatic people that can I carry on a conversation with. My feelings, instead, are affected by what this person does, not the time I’ve spent with them. Heck, if time was a direct variable, my mom and I would have a very different relationship.

Second, and this leads to how people act, the person I did tell was supposed to tell Q too, and she did, but the fact that I sent it to that person at all (or first) was obtuse to Q.

Third, the actual thing I explained to Q. The reason I hold, and told, was that the person I told was much more open to discussion about these things, and I felt more comfortable telling them than Q. This is why she is mad. I don’t see why.

You see, Q pretty much ridicules me and bullies me, but she’s like twenty feet shorter than me, and these things aren’t bad at all, most of the time. Q often throws my stuff on the ground, albeit playfully, and she insults how I look a lot, and she just doesn’t have a kind heart to me. I’m like the friend/punching bag, and it’s not bad, but it’s kind of obnoxious sometimes. Do you think I would tell someone like this my inner feelings? I wasn’t being mean, or obtuse, I was being safe. Who wants someone who bullies them to know the person they like?

Okay, that’s done. I’ve purposefully avoided curse words, but I may change that as I go on. Curse words are ignorant, but awesome; they have the ability to describe things in an instantly recognizable state. But not if taken literally.

The other thing that’s on my mind is Z. She is the girl I like, haha. But it’s not her that’s dragging me down . . no, she is still dragging me down, but it’s my conveyance of feelings to her that contributes the most to the dragging down. Like, at first, and probably still a lot now, I was/am clingy as fuck. Damn it, now I’m cussing. What the fuck ever.

See, this clingy-ness arose from the fact that I’ve had like 3 relationships in my life (2 if you count that third one as invalid) and the fact that someone reciprocates my feelings is absolutely the best thing in the whole fucking world. No, that’s false as hell, fuck the clingy mindset. It isn’t the best thing in the world, but it’s still really nice. This clingy-ness contributes to the generic and stupid drunk phrases such as, “You are my world”, and “I love you more than anything”, and “I need you”. These are all false, except for probably the second, because that’s marginally true, in this case.

I’m talking about this because I want to break the clingy-ness. I want Z to see that I’m capable, I’m strong, that I can be myself. But, and this is the clincher, I don’t want to lose this thing that we have. Relationships are far and few between for me, and having someone that loves you is nice. At least I hope she does. I don’t see what’s so good about me…okay, fucking stop. I need to stop that.

I have this inadequacy complex, where I don’t think I’m good enough for a lot of things. It wasn’t prevalent until around two months ago, when I got a reality check: I’m not what I crack myself up to be.

God, what else was I going to talk about? Oh yeah, some truths. Okay, so I don’t need Z. That is true. I don’t need anybody. I’ve been alone, I can do it again. She isn’t my world, but she is dear to me. One day I just looked at her and realized it. She is dear to me. Fuck. Whenever I do something stupid, like, fuck it doesn’t even matter. It does. Fuck. Oh cool, you see how those two fucks coincide?

I’m afraid to fully express myself to Z. I’m just a naive, ignorant, prick who happens to be here. I don’t want to alienate her, but I don’t want to alienate myself. This is a clincher; I’m trying to keep me and her. Is there a breaking point, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? People change. Fuck.

Should I make cookies tomorrow?